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The Dream of a Reality that…

It’s been almost a year since my boyfriend and I have been together. We met his parents for the first time yesterday. Aware of everything that was going to happen, I thought “ok, let’s hope for the best. They may change their mind.” 

They didn’t. 

Culturally or societical pressurised, they want him to marry by mid 2017 as we’re both reaching our 30s in a couple years. I don’t want to rush only because we’ve just started to get to know each other. There seemed to be no way out of that, as they only want to fulfill their duties as parents.

The tricky part comes, then. We’re both from 2 different religions, culture and background. His parents expecting me to follow and worship their Gods on top of mine is just not happening. If you’re worried about my parents’ agreeing to this, this double religion is a big No.

What do you when you love someone but parents force you to react otherwise? Like, am I suppose to just grow another heart and break his? I don’t understand why religion is such a big issue here. I go to church, pray, try my best to be a good human – isn’t that all that matters? Why does religion have to be a part of loving and accepting someone? It fucking kills. Can’t you accept mine and I, yours, and just move on without forcing it on the other? Religion DOES NOT make a person good. Your actions do. People just use it as an excuse more than doing shit. 

Ok. I’m tired. Frustrated. And just filled with a ton of hurt and other emotions.

Telling someone that if your mum doesn’t agree or you can’t follow our religion, then we can just be friends is not a solution to anything.

But thanks.

Thanks for saying that our feelings mean shit cos well, religion matters more.

Rant over.

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The reason I love him.

“When he said to let someone in my heart again,
I started liking him.
When he listened and entertained my doubts,
I started falling for him.
When he took time to address my fears,
I started falling hard for him.
When he spoke about his fears,
I grew to love him.
When he helped me to be comfortable in my own skin,
I was mad in love with him.”

Thank you for being the man that allows me to grow as a woman, a confident woman, without compromises. I have learnt to love again and it’s all because of you. You’re my inspiration, strength and crazy happy pill.

I’ve got a good feeling about this.

Be Love.

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100 followers! WOW!

I’m so blessed to have reached 100 followers! It’s been a slow journey but I’ve reached the first stage. Oh, and what a fruitful one it has been. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for giving me the push to carry on with random posts. Blogging is just an outlet to let out my views on love, life and the world, and it’s great when a discussion gets started. Really WOW!!
I am constantly looking for ways to improve my blog, so if there’s any suggestions at all, or great topics you’d like my views on – please do email me at thevacantspot@gmail.com 🙂

Once again, thank you for making this journey worthwhile! I wish everyone a very happy and blessed New Year!
P/s: keep working on those resolutions!

Love & Peace.

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Musings.

Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve a second chance. I’ve done crazy things and I seek no forgiveness for it. Lately, I’ve just been thinking a lot about you, about us.
You were hard to read so I felt like I tried too hard. I had my dramatic moments which caused us to break away but you never understood the reason behind my actions.
I know I should have gotten over you…after all, it’s been 9 months plus. I was. Maybe it’s just cos I’m getting lonely, wishing I had someone special in my life, even if it wasn’t right.
It’s never easy when you put so much time and effort to something that never was meant to last.
But that’s life, and life is full of topsy-turvy moments.
“It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel lonely.”

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Look.

I look in the mirror
And staring right at me is someone I do not know.
Who is this person?
How did I change into being so insecure?

I look in the mirror
Telling myself that I am beautiful but
As I walk away,
I turn around with nothing but doubt
Written on my face.

I look in the mirror
Practicing smiles and laughter
Only to feel the need to cover up my
Real feelings.

I look in the mirror
Wanting to be who I really am
But feeling stuck
Feeling pulled by my own shadow
To stay this way

I look in the mirror
And pray for a better tomorrow.

Love & Peace.