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Tales of the busy procrastinator of a 20-something.

I should change my blog to the title as above and never post anything. Haha!

As I transition to a new job scope and handling the rush that comes with Christmas by preparing hand-made hampers for our clients, I have very much abandoned posting on my blog for a long while. It’s been very tiring on my body that I even forgotten about the German lessons I’m taking on duolingo (and that only requires 10 minutes of my day!) My body has gone through so much of internal conflict that I feel sorry for it. -hugs myself-

What’s the point in pushing your body to the limit continuously? It’ll get back to you in disastrous ways. I have had indigestion, cold and sore throat over the last 2 weeks. Not to mention that when we get worked up, our body tends to want to take in anything sugary. It’s good to treat yourself sometimes but stress eating is not good (ask anyone about it – but we would still do it).

I honestly have no idea what this post is about. Haha just random ramblings.

Moral of the story: Stop stressing about things. Leave work to work. Give your body sufficient rest, even if you feel you don’t need it. Treat your body as another person, a loved one. Drink loads of water. Enjoy nature during lunch.
And most importantly, Christmas is the season of giving but you don’t need to stress about expensive things. Give your time. Give your presence. Help someone in need.

Love & Peace.

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Breaking Media.

Many a times, we are highly influenced by the media around us. Now, I say “many a times” when I actually mean every time, no matter how much we can fight it. Have you ever asked yourself why are some things deemed more acceptable than others, or what makes this more attractive than the others?

Media is a powerful tool that can be used as both the devil and the angel. I believe I have touched this on a past post, but I can’t stress how hard the media has a MASSIVE impact on our lives.

Today, I would like to touch on something that is close to me: The Fashion Industry. Before I continue, I’d like to point out that I love the fashion industry but what I can’t stand by is the deadly impact it has on young minds. We are all aware of how bone thin the industry loves their models to be. Despite having a season of plus-size models walking famous runways, it soon went back to square 1. As a student, I was deeply peeved off and I still am. I’ve read my fair share of fashion magazines, studied them, worked with some of the local publications to say that even though there’s always a section of how to love your body, it’s still rare to non-existent to see regular sized models on the spreads. The closest would be the popular faces gracing the covers.

With that said, I won’t say that the bone thin models are aliens (they could be) to be that skinny. They’re still humans and we all know some people have high metabolism.

But what about the message we’re sending to our young and the impressionable? I have found myself sometimes wishing I was skinnier and prettier when flipping through magazines and watching TV. We are always constantly being sold this idea of “perfection” that it makes us almost impossible to love our bodies for what it is, just cos we are always just not that good enough.

It’s a torturous cycle. I would lie to say it doesn’t affect me still, but at least I’m smarter and stronger now to diss those thoughts.

This idea of perfection has to stop. It’s getting old and boring. The new trend should be enjoying your body for what it is. After all, if you really want to lose that extra weight, isn’t it better to love your body for putting through the vigorous regimes you’re gonna dump at it?

Just saying.

Love & Peace.

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Fighting Demons.

Now, since it’s the start of October and everyone is getting into the mood of Halloween, I’m going to carry on talking about depression. After all, they are the mini demons latching onto us when we are at our lowest, giving us the temptation of suicidal or self-abusive thoughts.

I am no expert. I refuse to go to the doctor about my condition as I do not want to be relying on mood adjustment pills. Sometimes, I even question if I’m under depression or I’m just overwhelmed by everything around me so it’s just a temporary phase. Temporary can’t mean something you’ve been dealing with for years now, can it?

I’ve read a handful of sites that suggests ways to deal with the demons. Talk to someone, exercise, eat right, get adequate sunlight, drink water, etc. Every site boils down to the same suggestions, and honestly, I am tired of reading them. I am not saying that they’re wrong or not useful – don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe in all of those but what happens when you’re so down in the pits that it’s hard to climb up? Are you expected to make the effort to get into the light so that others can help you? Well, yes sure, we don’t have night vision eyes.

Truth is, it will be tough, almost impossible to get up and reach out. I’ve been embarrassed by people whom I’ve decided to open up to about my condition. Like yeah sure, who the heck wants to talk to anyone after that? My folks think I have a bad attitude problem and calls it a “bad habit that I should stop” without so much as asking me what’s going on without a condescending tone. I feel like I burden my close friends whenever I talk about my problems, cos it’s always the same things that happen. So, when they ask you to talk to someone – who, exactly are they referring to? Nobody can help you deal with this as much as you can. I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk to people whom you think will understand. By all means, go for it. BUT if you do not decide to change your life decisions, you would be finding yourself back to square 1 in no time.

Think.

What can you do differently when you hit rock bottom next time? I personally love to just get out of the house, do something I love like watch a comedy or visit the museum or walk by the beach. It may not sound like much, but trust me when I say that you’re a step closer to being yourself again. The fact that you got out of bed, dressed up and went out even if you feel like crap – you deserve a pat on the back!

If you’re like me (sometimes), the procrastinator, well…you know what, you should still try to get out! Get away from what’s triggering your depression! For me right now, it’s the fact that I’m jobless and the decreasing funds in my bank account. Unfortunately, I can’t run away from it altogether but it’s no use spending hours behind the computer job hunting when you keep telling yourself that you’re not good enough. Recently, I was watching a video on how to get your dream job and the truth is that we all think the only way to get jobs is by sending resumes to job ads, and wait for a call back. We don’t want to get out of our comfort zone, meet new people or ask for help from people we know. Make use of our connections. One should not only apply this rule to job hunting, but to our lives. Why wait when you can do something about it?

So, I’m a single, jobless and depressed woman. Depressed mainly because I’m single and jobless, and been in enough terrible relationships that could put Bridget Jones to shame. Truth is, in this day and age, nothing will ever be enough. We can have the most coverted job and model-esque partner by our side, but if we’re not TRULY happy and grateful for what we have, we’d be obsessed till depressed. Heh, nice ring to that.

We all have different problems in our lives but whatever it is, it just shows that you haven’t put yourself first in a lot of situations. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean splurging on diamonds and shoes, it simply means to love yourself more. Ignore the fast moving pace of our lives, dedicate a 10-15 minutes by yourself, in complete quietness. Take control of your thoughts. Take control of your body. Remember, you are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you that you can’t deal with. Create a spiritual bond between you and your mind and soul. Pray.

Loneliness is nothing to be scared about. Be its friend, embrace it. Treat it as a person.

Depression and anxiety takes control over us like the negative people in our lives. Remember, you can overcome this. Breathe. You’re a powerful being with willpower hard enough to break through the cycles.

If you need an outlet, don’t succumb to self-abuse. My favourite thing to do is to run. Do something that exhilarates you. Box, hike, run, dance, sing, climb, etc…the world is your playground. Live in it.

And if all else fails, call me up for some ice cream and vodka over Bridget Jones 😉

Love & Peace.

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A year wiser.

I’ve always been a firm believer of age not being a huge deal, as long as we are always comfortable with ourselves. Always. If you can’t stand being with yourself, how can anyone else?

That aside, as I turn a year older (only by age), I have never been so happy! Especially to turn older. Haha! Makes me feel in love with myself, honestly. Wow. I’ve never really said that to myself a lot. I’m in love with myself. I’m in love with myself. Holy crap! I’m in love with myself!
Now, I’m not egoistic but c’mon, if you can’t love yourself, who can? He he.

Let me begin by saying that no, I’m not living a fairy tale life nor do I have a Prince Charming. Nope, I have problems and worries and financial crisis like every other person on earth. But why am I so happy? Could it be the honeymoon season with myself? Possibly. I never want this to end.

So, my dear readers, as a new year awaits me, it does you too. Every day is a new chance to live, love, and forgive. There’s a time for everything.

But let every day be the day that you fall in love with yourself again, and all over again. That’s my wish for you.

Be kind to one another 🙂 x