“When he said to let someone in my heart again,
I started liking him.
When he listened and entertained my doubts,
I started falling for him.
When he took time to address my fears,
I started falling hard for him.
When he spoke about his fears,
I grew to love him.
When he helped me to be comfortable in my own skin,
I was mad in love with him.”
Thank you for being the man that allows me to grow as a woman, a confident woman, without compromises. I have learnt to love again and it’s all because of you. You’re my inspiration, strength and crazy happy pill.
I’ve got a good feeling about this.
Took a Sabbath break yesterday but my mind was constantly thinking of what I should write for my next post.
Two things I’ve learnt about myself recently:
1) I am constantly worried about being “the right one”, “the role model” that I have put on burdens in my life that causes so much stress. So much so that the minute I make a mistake, I take it out on myself, in the harshest way possible. That’s when my hormones start screwing up, causing depression mood swings.
2) I am afraid of going completely out of my comfort zone. Yes, we all are and it’s completely understandable. So, when someone comes into my life, throwing me into areas I’m not familiar with, the first thing I do is run for cover and find reasons why this won’t work out.
There are a million things that causes anxiety and depression, but these are mine…in a nut shell.
Depression and anxiety are like underaged teens high on drugs with raging sex hormones. You can only control it so much, but sometimes it gets influenced by external factors that it decides to go against your will, leaving you as the “parent” overwhelmed and worried. I hope I’m making sense. I’m not a parent, so feel free to rectify this analogy.
My belief is that no amount of medicines or counselling can help unless you decide to change yourself. Yes, I know how harsh that may sound but imagine this: you can’t feed a child vegetables unless he/she opens the mouth in order to try it. Same thing, no? Change won’t happen unless you want it.
In order for that to happen, stop killing your spirit everytime you feel down. You can’t fight fire with fire. Water the negativity out and find something that makes you happy every day, even if it’s a pair of minion socks 🙂
Love & Peace.
Being one week away from Christmas, I was reminded about how our past hurts can still cause a deep pain within us. A technique to help ease this pain has helped me with mine and I hope that it will help you with yours too. It is by the authors of The Tools. I’m really bad with names but it was written by 2 authors.
Day 18: Active Love
Take a deep breathe in, close your eyes. Exhale slowly. Now, think of one person that has caused you pain. Your brain will tend to wander about at this point, but remember you’re in control of your thoughts.
See that person stand in front of you. Take another deep breathe in.
Now, the hard part comes – as you exhale, exhale out love and peace onto that person. Do it a few times till you feel a burden lightened up on you. Feel yourself transferring love onto that person.
Open your eyes and if you don’t feel any different, try it again. If you do, congrats!
Be kind to one another 🙂 x