Break down.

I’ve been writing a lot on my good times, despite having said I do have bad times. Many a time, I try to shield it from the world cos that’s how I was brought up. No, it’s not my parents’ fault but just how I am. Not many people have seen me break down cos I have my guards up a lot of the time. That, and also, I’m known to be the cheery one. It’s a good thing, but the stress of always having to be up and positive does get to you at times, when everything around you seems to be crashing down.

I broke down a couple hours back. Honestly saying, I’m still quite in the down hole. Nothing really triggered it but it was just the feeling of being overwhelmed at the peak, with everything that has been brewing. Before I go further, I do love my life, and I do appreciate myself and the people around me – don’t forget that. I just got tired of always being there for people that I needed to shut myself out from the world. And with the small fragments of pain and heartbreak still lingering around from my past, it was the perfect recipe for a break down. I don’t feel completely out of there yet, still crying a bit as I write this and recall the events that led to this, but I know I would still keep positive about it. I mean, that’s the only way to get out, right?

Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to sweeping everything under the rug, mainly my feelings when it comes to being hurt. I’ve never scolded or raised my voice to anyone, except to my parents in my years of rebelling. To which till this day, I am making up to them for.

One thing I do like about my break downs, though, is that I start writing. They may be lyrics, but definitely not complete yet. Whatever you wanna call them, but without any melody. But when I look back at it, it’s pretty sad that all my writings/ songs are about heart break. It reminds that life really isn’t all that miserable. And as I’m writing this, it brings me to the realization that it’s just a matter of perspective. If you think life is bad, it will be bad as that’s all you’d ever look out for. But, if you can look at the bad stuff AND still focus on the goodness in life, my dear, that’s the secret of happiness.

It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to break down and be completely stupidly miserable. But, you gotta pick yourself up, wipe those tears, dust those bad remains, and move on with your head held high, and a smile to the world. Of course, if you have someone you’re extremely close to that you can talk about this, please do. We don’t have to handle everything on our own. We’re humans, made to rely on each other. Why do you think God made Eve for Adam?

To close, here’s a quote from Batman,

Why do we fall down? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

I’ll be back to my cheery self once I get some good night’s rest. Sleep always helps. You’d be amazed to know the science behind it, if you didn’t already. Google it, or I’d never get to sleep! 😉

Well, my dears, I’m off. I’ll feel better cos I want to.

Be kind to one another, and most importantly, yourself 🙂 x

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