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Break down.

I’ve been writing a lot on my good times, despite having said I do have bad times. Many a time, I try to shield it from the world cos that’s how I was brought up. No, it’s not my parents’ fault but just how I am. Not many people have seen me break down cos I have my guards up a lot of the time. That, and also, I’m known to be the cheery one. It’s a good thing, but the stress of always having to be up and positive does get to you at times, when everything around you seems to be crashing down.

I broke down a couple hours back. Honestly saying, I’m still quite in the down hole. Nothing really triggered it but it was just the feeling of being overwhelmed at the peak, with everything that has been brewing. Before I go further, I do love my life, and I do appreciate myself and the people around me – don’t forget that. I just got tired of always being there for people that I needed to shut myself out from the world. And with the small fragments of pain and heartbreak still lingering around from my past, it was the perfect recipe for a break down. I don’t feel completely out of there yet, still crying a bit as I write this and recall the events that led to this, but I know I would still keep positive about it. I mean, that’s the only way to get out, right?

Maybe I’ve grown accustomed to sweeping everything under the rug, mainly my feelings when it comes to being hurt. I’ve never scolded or raised my voice to anyone, except to my parents in my years of rebelling. To which till this day, I am making up to them for.

One thing I do like about my break downs, though, is that I start writing. They may be lyrics, but definitely not complete yet. Whatever you wanna call them, but without any melody. But when I look back at it, it’s pretty sad that all my writings/ songs are about heart break. It reminds that life really isn’t all that miserable. And as I’m writing this, it brings me to the realization that it’s just a matter of perspective. If you think life is bad, it will be bad as that’s all you’d ever look out for. But, if you can look at the bad stuff AND still focus on the goodness in life, my dear, that’s the secret of happiness.

It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to break down and be completely stupidly miserable. But, you gotta pick yourself up, wipe those tears, dust those bad remains, and move on with your head held high, and a smile to the world. Of course, if you have someone you’re extremely close to that you can talk about this, please do. We don’t have to handle everything on our own. We’re humans, made to rely on each other. Why do you think God made Eve for Adam?

To close, here’s a quote from Batman,

Why do we fall down? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.

I’ll be back to my cheery self once I get some good night’s rest. Sleep always helps. You’d be amazed to know the science behind it, if you didn’t already. Google it, or I’d never get to sleep! 😉

Well, my dears, I’m off. I’ll feel better cos I want to.

Be kind to one another, and most importantly, yourself 🙂 x

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The Kind of Love That Does Your Heart Good

My exact thoughts!

Living Self-Care

I couldn’t have said it better myself! Read the original article here. – Namaste, Stacey

Love is a universal human emotion that permeates all aspects of life. We love our families, our friends, our partners, and even our pets. We can also love our jobs, music, artwork, landscapes, and certain foods. Love can be defined as a strong emotional attachment toward another person or thing that can produce feelings of euphoria and joy—or sadness and despair. There is no doubt that love is one of the most powerful emotions a human being can experience, yet we spend so much time focusing on loving everything around us that we often forget the most important recipient of love: ourselves.

Although the connection may not seem obvious, love of self is directly related to heart health and well-being. When we love ourselves, we take better care of ourselves…

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Blurred eyes.

I’m glad that I don’t have perfect eyesight. Why so? Cos when I take my glasses off, and just look outside the window, enjoying the last few minutes before the sun rises, especially when all the lights are still up in darkness, what can I say? There’s a sense of peace and serenity in those moments. The smell of fresh air, the wind blowing in your hair, just enjoying the sight without any prejudice.

My glasses, in this case, is just a symbolic object to our take on life. Our bubble of negativity, most of the time. We’re so scared to see the other side as to be hurt, ridiculed, fail. I’ve been there. Heck, I get my periods of that self-inflicted negativity still. Even the way I look at the world becomes some sucking black hole of loneliness.

As humans, we worry about things too much. We can’t help it. It’s in our nature. But does that mean you can’t change? No, it doesn’t cos we have the mental capacity for it! It’s just like learning a new skill – scary at first but easier as you get more used to it. Does the world really need one more judgmental, self-hating person? I don’t think so.

This world was made from love, and by love, we were made. So what changed?

Take those glasses off and see the world with new perspectives – positive perspectives.

Be kind to one another 🙂 x

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Who is Insane?

I feel you.

Musings From a Ragged Soul

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder almost a year ago. I was hospitalized for nearly a month in the psych ward. I had a complete psychotic break. I had hallucinations and grandiose thoughts – a classic manic episode. I started a blog just before my episode went into full swing. My writings in the days leading up to my hospitalization reveal a bit of what was going on in my head at the time. I think a lot of what I had to say was real, it was true. I still believe most of what I had to say. So, what does it all mean?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about mental illness. Thinking about what it means to be bipolar. Thinking about the emotions I go through. Thinking about what’s wrong with me. And what’s right. How I don’t believe there is anything wrong with anyone who…

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